Four Years Clean: A Look Back on the Day I Chose Life

July 13, 2021.
That’s the day everything changed.

I didn’t know then what the road ahead would look like. I just knew I was done. Done destroying myself. Done letting addiction call the shots. Done watching my life slip away while I stood frozen, numb, and lost.

Today, I celebrate four years clean and sober — and I can finally say with full confidence: I'm not just surviving anymore. I'm living. And more importantly, I’m healing.

The Moment I Chose to Get Clean

The decision to get sober didn’t come with fanfare or a perfect plan. It came with desperation and a deep cry from my soul that said, “Enough.” Drugs and alcohol had stolen too many moments, too many relationships, and too much of my peace. I knew I couldn’t go on like that. I wanted more for my life — even if I didn’t know what that “more” would look like yet.

So I surrendered.
And on July 13, 2021, I made a promise to myself and to God: I will fight for my life.

What Helped Me Stay Sober

Recovery isn’t a straight line — it’s a winding road, full of detours, growth, and grace. Here are some of the anchors that kept me grounded over the last four years:

🌿 Working a Recovery Program

Getting clean was one thing — staying clean was another. I immersed myself in a recovery program that provided structure, accountability, and the support of others who had walked this path before me. The 12 steps weren’t just theory — they became my roadmap. Each step helped me peel back the layers of pain, shame, and guilt, and rebuild from the inside out.

🙏 Connecting with God

My relationship with God became my lifeline. When I felt lost, He reminded me who I was. When I felt weak, He gave me strength. And when I couldn’t see a way forward, He carried me. My spiritual connection has been the heartbeat of my recovery. I am clean today because of divine grace and the willingness to surrender.

✍️ Making a Gratitude List

Early in recovery, someone told me: You can't be grateful and miserable at the same time. So I started writing gratitude lists. Some days it was “a warm shower” or “a call from my sponsor.” Other days it was “not waking up sick” or “getting through a craving.” Over time, gratitude rewired my thinking — it helped me stop focusing on what I lost and start focusing on what I was gaining.

⚰️ Having a Funeral for Alcohol

Alcohol was always the gateway to my drug use. I knew if I wanted any shot at staying clean, I had to cut ties completely. I actually held a funeral for alcohol — a symbolic moment where I said goodbye to the illusion that it brought me anything good. That ritual helped me grieve the old life I was leaving behind and step boldly into the new one I was creating.

👕 Starting Inspiring Sobriety

One of the most healing choices I made was launching my business, Inspiring Sobriety. What started as a way to keep myself accountable quickly became something bigger — a community, a mission, and a movement. Through t-shirts, gifts, and wearable inspiration, I found a way to help others recover out loud. Every message I send, every shirt I pack, is a celebration of resilience — not just mine, but yours too.

What I’ve Learned in Four Years

Sobriety taught me more than I could’ve imagined. It taught me that healing is possible, even when you’ve been to hell and back. That community saves lives. That honesty is more powerful than shame. And that you are never too far gone to start over.

Most of all, I’ve learned that recovery isn’t about perfection — it’s about progress. It’s about choosing yourself, over and over, one day at a time.

To Anyone Just Starting Out

If you’re reading this and you're still in the chaos, I want you to hear me:
There is hope.
You are not alone.
And you are worth the work it takes to heal.

You don’t have to have it all figured out. You just have to take the next right step. Whether that’s calling for help, going to a meeting, or flushing what’s left — it all counts. Your life is worth saving.

Here's to What's Next

As I step into year five of recovery, I do so with clarity, gratitude, and fire in my heart. I’ve come a long way — but I’m not done growing. Not by a long shot.

If you're celebrating a milestone, grieving a relapse, or just trying to make it through today, I'm walking beside you. This journey isn't easy, but it's so damn worth it.

Thanks for being part of mine.

With love and light,
Jennifer
Founder of Inspiring Sobriety